Small Town America
My family pride, growing up in small-town America, I was born in 1960 in Northern California in Eureka, CA, but lived in a very small town Blue Lake, CA. They moved into the house we grew up in when my older brother was born in August of 1959. My parents raised four children in this home, my two brothers, a sister, and myself. They remained in this house until 1993. They then moved to Garden City KS to be near my dad’s family.-
This town had one small grocery store and a mom-and-pop store. When we went to the store the owner Charlie would always make us say spaghetti, like bispaghetti. Even after we were grown and saw him and his wife he always reminded us of that. The library, city hall, and post office were all located in one building which was in a lot by our house, in an old Victorian house. That tells you how small it was, everyone knew everyone. The kids you started kindergarten with were the ones you graduated 8th grade with, a few would come and go but mostly the same kids. When we reached high school we were bused to another town to attend high school, Arcata High School. There are advantages of growing up in small-town America, everyone is there when something happens.
My Family
I want to tell you about my family. My parents met when mom was 7 years old and dad was 17, dad rented a small room from grandpa and grandma and worked in the woods for my grandpa. Dad never really noticed Mom too much at that time she was only 7, mom informed everyone that she was going to marry that man one day. Mom always said she chased Dad until he caught her. Dad left and joined the Air Force, after leaving the Air Force he returned and started working for my grandpa again in the logging industry.
By this time 10 years had passed, Mom was 17, and after a short period, they were married in 1959. My older brother was born in August of 1959, then I was born in May of 1960, (me and my brother were 9 months and 1 day apart, I was premature), and my sister was born in September of 1962 with the baby of the family my brother, September of 1965. My grandparents, especially my grandma were so happy to welcome him to the family. He always had a special place for her. My grandma had Alzheimer’s and she always recognized my dad.
Never Too Busy
Probably the best thing about our parents is they were never too busy to be parents. We were always a family unit growing up. There was always that line of communication. Even as we grew into adults we never stopped being taught, they were with us in everything we did. They might not have agreed with some of our decisions, but they were ours to make and they were there to pick up the pieces. They were the best role models anyone could have. That is how we wanted to raise our kids. My mom was my daughter’s best friend growing up, they were like two peas in a pod. Who could ask for better than that?
When my mom passed away she had 10 grandchildren, she always wanted grandchildren and was afraid that we were not going to help her. In 1983 there were three grandchildren born, welcome to the family.
My Parents The Greatest Gift of All
My mom was the neighborhood mom. Everyone would always gather at our house to play baseball, there was a large backyard for our neighbors and they always liked to watch us play ball there. The baseball field was across the street and in between games our house was the gathering place. I remember one time my dad had dumped a load of logs in our back yard and all the boys would come over and chop the wood, everyone loved our parents. When we were putting a new roof on the house they would come over and be up there helping, that is the type of parents I had, everyone loved them. Each and every one of those kids were family, most spent more time at our house than anyone else’s.
I don’t think my mom missed one sporting event or anything we had going on unless it was unavoidable, and she rooted for every kid there, that is the type of mom she was. Everyone knew that was our Mom and I don’t know if that was good or bad. Growing up it was like mom and dad knew every child in town.
My mom was the secretary of the bowling association for years. I remember one time my mom went to the newspaper to turn in some items for the bowling tournament. While she was talking to the sports editor she said you sometimes write about my son. The editor thinks oh great another bragging mother. He asked his name, and when she told him he was like that is the most written about the boy in high school sports, of course, he wrote about him.
More About My Parents
He wrote an editorial in the newspaper on that Sunday. It was so amazing. You would have thought he knew her personally rather than just the lady who dropped bowling items off. We were all so proud of her and what he said was right it was my mom exactly. Growing up both she and dad were very fair with us, if we did something wrong it was dealt with and we moved on.
As we grew up my dad stopped truck driving and they went to manage a bowling alley. We were all involved in bowling, we all helped at the bowling alley, but after several years my parents decided that it took too much time away from us kids so they left that and mom worked there, dad went back to truck driving.
My dad was a man of many talents. He drove logging trucks, chip trucks, and low beds hauling large equipment, as well as tanker trucks. Dad could do anything, he was amazing. When we kids needed help he was the first to volunteer to help, even if he had to teach us, or our spouse how to do it. Each of us kids had to change the oil in our cars ourselves, of course with him supervising. That was a condition of us having a car, and if something needed to be worked on our car we were beside him. What a great teacher.
Dad worked until he was 72 hauling cattle when he moved to Kansas. When we moved there we purchased our first truck and my husband hauled cattle. That was quite the experience.
Teaching Grandkids
My mom, I, and my sister-in-law bowled on a Monday night women’s league and if my brother wasn’t there, my dad would watch the grandkids, one girl and two boys around 2 and 4. One night he was watching them and he was the quiet man. They are too quiet, he went to the back bedroom and found that those three had a coloring party on the bedroom door. My dad didn’t get mad, he just said that on Sunday they were coming to a sanding party. We as parents thought that was better than them getting in trouble. When the kids came on Sunday and found out what a sanding party was, they never colored anything again. What a great lesson, growing up that was something that they remember to this day.
Another time they cut each other’s hair, for the boys it wasn’t so bad they received a head shave. But, my daughter thinking she was smarter than everyone else, saved all the hair they cut off. My sister-in-law took one look at her and laughed but, Aunt Jacky I saved all my hair for you, needless to say, her hair was short for quite a while. Lesson learned never had trouble with scissors again.
Respect Learned
I think the lessons our parents taught our children, were invaluable. My parents never interfered in our parenting, if they had something to say they would tell us when the kids were not there. Respect was one of the most powerful tools they taught, guidance and patience were never lacking. We don’t always appreciate it when growing up but it comes back to you. However, if Mom and Dad said NO it was no, that was the best. Grandparents as we know are far more forgiving than parents, as I am finding out now. But, if my daughter says no, it is no, sometimes that is hard for us to do being grandparents.
Our children have respect for people and are caring children. I think having the influences they did growing up was a great advantage. My granddaughter was able to spend time with my dad, we sometimes had to monitor the TV shows they watched, Southpark. My daughter took night classes and I worked overnight so Grandpa would watch her one night a week, he didn’t understand that Southpark was inappropriate for a 3-year-old. But, once my daughter told him, it never happened again, He thought it was like a cartoon. He was 83 at the time. But, she was his Turkey and she still remembers great Grandpa.
My Greatest Honor in Life
Unfortunately, we lost Mom in 2001, after a long illness. My husband and I moved to Kansas where they were living to be there, to be closer and be there for them. I was the one who always helped her, even when they still lived in Blue Lake and I lived in Sacramento. Sometimes that is the way it is with kids, one child is the one who everyone turns to. Growing up I was called sergeant I guess I was bossy. I was so worried about my dad when mom passed away but let me tell you he was great. We talked every day, I think he waited by the phone until I called. At the time my older brother lived in Montana, my younger brother lived in Blue Lake, and my sister lived in Alaska. We all lived in different time zones.
Losing Mom
After my mom passed away I had the honor of caring for my dad. Dad was very self-sufficient but sometimes just needed a little help. My mom spoiled him so much, but he was amazing. About 10 years after mom passed away my dad moved in with us. We then moved from Garden City, KS to North Las Vegas, NV. Our house has a loft upstairs and that was his space. You could hear Rush every morning. I knew that it was his mealtime at 7 or so in the morning, after doing what he did every morning, his morning chores he called them. Water the trees and pick up dog poop.
It was also his job to get the mail. Now with Dad gone, we are not so good about getting the mail. Lunch was after Rush and dinner was around 5 pm. If for some reason dinner wasn’t ready on time you would hear “Daughter are we going to eat tonight”. I used to sometimes wonder if he even knew my name I was always “Daughter” what a great name. We were so lucky because Dad had all his marbles as he would say.
More Ways I Was Honored
But the best of all was that Dad trusted me with everything in his life. Helping him with his cancer treatments, any doctor appointment, or everything in everyday life that he needed. I feel so grateful that I was allowed to take care of him when he needed me the most. There are so many families out there that don’t stay as close as they should, our parents took care of us and taught us so much about life that it is such an honor to be able to do that for them.
My older brother has passed away but we three other kids are very close. We talk all the time or text. We see each other as often as we can since we don’t live in the same town. My brother lives in Sparks, NV now and we see him most. Whereas, my sister is in Ketchikan Alaska. We were a family separated by miles but always a phone call away.
Furthermore, I couldn’t have had a better childhood or parents. My wish for my children and their children is to have the stable environment we had growing up. Always, remember that your family is yours.
Remember respect is earned not given.